Contamination OCD

Last month I shared a little about my version of OCD, which involves perceiving germs and harmful substances basically everywhere. I've been wanting to give some examples, but I don't have a well-thought-out narrative. So I'm just going to start listing random stuff as it pops into my head.

I never used to think twice about putting on and taking off socks. Now I'm very aware of how much time those socks I wore all day spent on the floor. I've perfected removing them with my feet so I don't have to wash my hands after.

I've also been stepping out of my pants like a child would do. That's so I don't have to touch the cuffs. The pants end up inside-out, which becomes annoying at laundry time.

 

Speaking of laundry, dirty laundry is another item my brain flags as contaminated.

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As a person with one hand, I had my own way of doing a lot of things. Many of those tricks are out the window now. Couple examples of what I mean:

 

• For most of my life, I would use my teeth to take the cap off a pen, open a snack bag or a granola bar, etc. Needless to say, I'm not using my teeth for anything except chewing these days. 

 

• I would open and close the oven door with my foot. No. (See aforementioned dirty socks.)

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Dishes.

I used to empty the dishwasher as quickly as possible, never taking the time to check if the dishes were actually clean. My dear husband would get annoyed if there was old food stuck on a fork or something. I would joke "It's clean dirt!" and ask rhetorically, "what do you want me to do, stand here and examine each and every thing I pull out of the dishwasher?? Haha!" 

 

Now I do EXACTLY THAT.

If one of those clean dishes had been used for raw eggs, raw meat, or mayonnaise, I'm probably sending it through the next dishwasher cycle, too—to be thorough.

Later, when I get a pot or skillet out to use for cooking, I examine it again. And no matter how it looks, decent chance I'll hand wash it before using.

After washing it again by hand, then I worry that I didn't rinse off the detergent well enough and we're going to ingest dishwashing liquid.

(This is starting to sound like a version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.)

To sum up, I trust neither the dishwasher nor hand washing to clean the dishes properly.

 

I throw potholders and oven mitts in the laundry as soon as they get any food on them, which means they often get washed after one use. Who does that?? I also run the can opener lever through the dishwasher after every use.

 

I worry about food-related germs and bacteria on the counters, so I disinfect the counters. Then I worry we'll ingest toxic chemicals. As a result, I never put food or utensils directly on the countertop. Everything goes on a clean plate, a paper towel, wax paper, etc. 

 

I used to use the same water glass all day.  Now that seems gross.

A few months ago I started changing out the hand towels every day. Nothing wrong with that. However, now, I don't even like to use a hand towel that someone else has used, so I get one out that is just for me. Or I use paper towels.

 

I go through an ungodly amount of paper towels.

 

To try to get back to where I used to be—moderately germophobic but not clinically obsessive—I am supposed to "sit with the discomfort" of not washing my hands every time I perceive I have gotten contaminated. It's hard, but I am getting better at it, little by little. Truly.

In a future post, perhaps I'll share some of the non-food contaminants I also worry about! It'll be fun.