Lazy Germophobe

Here's how I know I'm getting old: the dumbest things annoy the s_ _ _ out of me. The more inconsequential the better. It's ridiculous. Stuff like social media slang. Why do I care! Who cares! But part of my brain will be all, "Can we just be DONE stanning a queen already??" Then another part of my brain says, "Who cares! It's slang—language evolves ." And I'm like, "I know language evolves, but that's for, like, split infinitives and the singular 'they.' I don't want to read about any more people being obsessed, or getting destroyed, or having receipts." I realize it's silly, so I try to keep this internal dialog inside my brain where it belongs. But another reason that I know I'm old is less curmudgeonly and more positive. I was on a walk today in a meadow and saw a couple dozen butterflies, including two monarchs. And I'm telling you about this experience with words because I did not even attempt to take a...

Today I was rummaging around in my basket of hair products and found my anti-aging serum . Ha! I haven’t used it for months. It’s not going to keep me young at the bottom of a basket. Speaking of aging, Paulina Porizkova was trending recently for posting a makeup-free selfie and an honest rant about getting older and the pressure to delay looking old for as long as possible. She’s 54. Like so many women our age, she struggles with saggy skin and the decision of when/whether to go gray. I love what she has to say ("I’ve changed my vision to gray hair being sexy and confident”), but her post still focuses on looks—how to embrace the appearance of our older faces and bodies—instead of how we think, act, and feel. I guess that’s a job hazard for a supermodel. Although, model or not, it truly is that glimpse in the mirror more than anything else that reminds us we are eternal beings housed in aging vessels. From the book Hardwired: Finding the God You Already Kno...

I always internally scoffed at skin “serums” and the suckers who paid a premium for them. You can buy a face cream for $8, but call it a serum and it goes for $24—for a fraction of the amount. (And that’s the cheap drug store serum.) What a racket! Who would fall for this scam? Haha! Then I read about hyaluronic acid. Google it if you’re unfamiliar—there are too many articles to link. This sounded quite legitimate to me. This substance naturally found in the skin attracts and retains water, making it an excellent moisturizer. Like everything else in the body, we lose it as we age. But it’s OK, because you can buy a serum with hyaluronic acid in it! The reviews are amazing! So I did it. I bought Neutrogena Hydro Boost because it was only $20, I could get it at Rite Aid, and it’s “#1 dermatologist recommended.” It smells and feels wonderful. It’s lovely to use. The thing is, I still look 49. See, I made a strategic error: As previously noted, I do not possess ...